Happenings

Keep the Spark Alive

2008-08-25T13:56:00.000-07:00

By Chetan Bhagat

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune
23rd June, 2008

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak
to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college,
leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to
become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few
days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in
college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a
tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what
would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so
much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you
that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about
keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy
most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year
old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make
them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park.
A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for
birthday party - several months in advance - just for the day
they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see
older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age,
the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull,
dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab
We Met vs. the second
half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save
the
spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -
to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard
against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve
and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is
possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to
company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material
landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where
money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a
big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the
case, Mr.. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay
at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to
make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars
already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?
They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes
them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good.
If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to
interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice,
your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot
become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for
that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which
we were born.. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of
nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give
you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before
successful.
Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all
in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.
There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not
enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon
or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those
races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon
kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first.
Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your
striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you
may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited
and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.
One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One
student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the
yoga practice.
The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined
my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or
any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing
everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I
take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I
live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary
here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are
lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500
weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up?
It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We
are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking
it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four
storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame.
These must be guarded against. These are disappointment,
frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the
expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face
failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do
come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you
will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit,
like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some
IITians kill themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that
is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could
always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember -
if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or
potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you
ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is
especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that
job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if
you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for
Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely
lucky, but it took me five years
to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns
your
initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How
did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies
take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking
a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result -
at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan - I
had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable
distractions in your life
- friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is
to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took
it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is
how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful
faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but
everywhere.
And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities
in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen.
Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short
term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do
work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In
fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this
speech in English means you are pretty damn lucky by Indian standards.
Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what
we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot
even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I
don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are
more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your
spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you
grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all
kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you
still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize
you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you
feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can
create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may
drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop
playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give
up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family.
But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise.
Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms -
disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot
avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at
regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let
the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If
someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose
college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will
shine the same way as they do today.. That you will Keep the Spark
alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends.
And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark
alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And
there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion
sparks.

Travelling to US Guideline

2008-05-30T11:13:00.001-07:00

Travel Instructions/Suggestions:

At the Airport:

1. Carry your passport and any other important documents with you all the time. Make at least 2 photo copies (of all pages of the passport including the page where the visa is), one in the other travelers hand bag and the other in a suitcase.

2. At the security check points, they will ask you to take out any electronics from the bag and remove your shoes, belts etc..Do take out the electronics as if they find out later, the do a complete check of your bag which is a pain.

3. Carry some material to read (books, magazines etc.). Waiting at the airports can be quite boring.

4. Do not get tempted to spend your dollars at the duty free shops. Most of the things are available in US at a much cheaper cost.

5. Do not hesitate to spend money on buying food at the airports if you are hungry. The food does seem a little expensive, but is worth it when one is hungry.

6. Be very careful about the liquids you carry as if it is not in a zip lock and less than some ml they will confiscate it and you will never see them again.

During the flight:

1. Drink lots of water and liquids: Do not be afraid to ask for it from the air hostess.

2. Eat : And if you do not like the food they are serving ( make sure you ask for all the options), take something from home (like parantha rolls etc .)

3. Keep Warm: I have noticed that different airlines maintain different temperatures, so I like to wear socks ( or atleast have them in my hand bag) and have a thin sweater or shawl.

4. Sleep as much as possible: The best way to pass time is to catch up on sleep, it might feel hard due to space restrictions but they give a pillow and a blanket and it is up to us how cozy we choose to be.

5. Watching movies is also a great time pass!

During the stay:

Things you might need:

1) Bathroom Slippers

2) Soft Jacket for the evenings/mornings/around the house

3) Enough undergarments for about 2 weeks ( or if you don't have enough and don't want to buy then we can wash them with hand).

4) Your personal medicines

5) Comfortable walking shoes

6) Carry your cell phones and chargers. ( I am not sure which charger will work here, but just carry it anyways).

7) Bring some reading material to read during your stay. I enjoy catching up on my novels during a holiday.

MS in Management Science & Engineering at Stanford FAQ's

2007-07-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

I have gone through the course details at the website. They appear to be dealing with core financial subjects. As I am from an engineering background, I would like to know if there is any prerequisite knowledge necessary to take up the course.
USUALLY BEING FROM AN ENGINEERING BACKGROUND IS ENOUGH TO TAKE UP MOST OF THE COURSES IN MS&E. I TOOK A FINANCE CLASS AND THE ONLY PROBLEM I FACED WAS IN CATCHING UP WITH THE SPEED OF THE CLASS IN GENERAL. IF ONE PUTS IN SOME EFFORT DURING THE BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND SOME BASIC CONCEPTS, ITS NOT THAT BAD USUALLY. OF COURSE SOME OF THE UNDERGRADS FROM US WHO HAVE MAJORED IN FINANCE AND ECONOMICS SEEM TO BE WAY AHEAD OF US ENGINEERS. HOWEVER, IT IS NOT USUALLY A PROBLEM.

- What is the placement scenario ? What kind of jobs are offered (technical/business)? Is it easy to find the right job or needs a lot of effort?
THIS IS A TRICKY QUESTION AS PLACEMENTS IN STANFORD ARE USUALLY VERY GOOD , HOWEVER THERE ARE SOME STUDENTS WHO REALLY STRUGGLE TO GET THE JOB THEY WANT. SO TO MAKE MYSELF MORE CLEAR ONE NEEDS TO WORK HARD FROM THE BEGINNING TO ENSURE THAT YOU GET THE JOB AND COMPANY YOU WANT. MOST OF THE TOP COMPANIES RECRUIT FROM MS&E AND I DON'T SEE A PROBLEM IN GETTING SOME JOB ATLEAST!

- From your experience, do you think there is any particular student profile Stanford looks for?
STANFORD LOOKS FOR STUDENTS WHO ARE EXCEPTIONAL IN SOME AREA OR OTHER. USUALLY MOST OF THE INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS I MET HERE HAD A GRE SCORE MORE THAN 1400. ACADEMICS WERE PRETTY GOOD, TOP 5% OF YOUR CLASS AND SOME EXCELLENT PROJECTS AND RECOS, THE USUAL STUFF I GUESS!

- What can I do to better my chances? (Ex:Contact professors/students and get their recommendation/reference, Do internships in the related field.etc)
WHEN R U GRADUATING? WIL YOU GET SOME WORK EXPERIENCE BEFORE YOU GET HERE. THERE IS NO HARM IN CONTACTING THE PROFESSORS AND IN GENEREAL GETTING PEOPLE IN THE DEPARTMENT TO KNOW YOU.

- Most of the students I have come across have very good resumes. Either they are from the IITs or other elite institutions and have good work ex and international papers. Do you think it is too ambitious of me to apply to Stanford? Is there anyone you know whos got an admit with just a good gre score, sop n cgpa?I have a few friends from VIT with a similar profile who got an admit in the environmental eng program but I would like to know about students in MS&E.

I GOT AN ADMIT WITH A GOOD GRE SCORE, SOP AND RECO;S. SO I DON'T SEE HOW ANYONE ELSE CAN'T GET IN. BUT AT THE SAME TIME LET ME WARN YOU, THIS PROGRAM IS GETTING VERY POPULAR IN INDIA AND LOTS OF STUDENTS ARE APPLYING. INFACT THIS YEAR, I WAS SPEAKIGN TO THE ADMISSION PEOPLE AND S HE WAS TELLING ME THAT CHOOSING AMONGST THE INDIAN STUDENTS IS GETTING VERY HARD...

was going through the course list, and some of the courses that would interest me have been marked saying that they are limited enrollment courses. What does that mean ? I select a concentration say Entreprenurship and Policy, than would i not be given preference over the othes who might have opted for say OR ?

IN THE MS&E DEPT, DON'T WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT CONCENTRAITON TO TAKE. TAKE UP THE COURSES YOU LIKE. Some of the COURSES YOU SAW ARE LIMITED ENROLEMENT. THIS MEANS THAT THERE ARE LMITED SEATS AND ONE HAS TO APPLY TO GET IN. IN SOME, WE HAVE TO FILL AN APPLICATION FORM AND BASED ON WORK EX ETC, THE PROF DECIDES WHO TO TAKE. SOME OTHER ONES HAVE A LOTTERY SYSTEM AS THERE ARE TOO MANY STUDENTS WHO APPLY.

Although i have been able to research on the course content etc for the MS&E program, but i was not able to find any relevant placement statistics. I also tried getting across to the department grad. office assistant, but she was also not able to provide me with any number and asked me to write to the Graduate Student Placement Centre to find more information on the same. Would be able to provide some numbers on placements and some rough idea on the starting salaries there.

PLACEMENTS ARE PRETTY GOOD FOR ALL STANFORD STUDENTS. BEING A MASTERS STUDENT, ONE CANNOT EXPECT POSITIONS AND SALARIES LIKE THOSE OF THE MBA'S . BUT MOST OF THE STUDENTS END UP GETTING PRETTY GOOD JOBS . I KNOW OF SOME WHO DID HAVE PROBLEMS, THEY USUALLY HAD SOME STRANGE REASONS LIKE BAD COMMUNICAITON SKILLS OR APPLYING FOR THE WRONG JOBS AT THE WRONG TIME ETC..
THE SALARIES FOR MASTERS STUDENTS ARE BETWEEN $60,000 TO $90,000 PER ANNUM DEPENDING ON THE COMPANY AND JOB PROFILE AS WELL AS YOUR PAST WORK EXPERIENCE.

I also happened to visit your blog where i could see some of the rants about the program and stuff around it .

Also if you dont mind, i would like to hear from you on your background and what convinced you that Stan is where you wanted to be ( i read your blog post on this :) but still )).

SO AFTER COMPLETING MY ENGINEERING IN ELECTRONICS FROM PUNE UNIV, I WORKED WITH IBM FOR A YEAR AND REALISED THAT I WASN'T ALL THAT INTERESTED IN DOING A PURE TECH JOB. I THEN SWITCHED TO A START UP IN A BUSINESS ROLE. BY THEN I HAD STARTED LOOKING AT SCHOOLS IN AMERICA FOR FURTHER EDUCAITON. I DIDN'T HAVE ENOOUGH WORK EX TO GET THROUGH THE TOP MBA SCHOOLS PLUS I WAS STILL A LITTLE STUCK UP ON DOING TECH RELATED MANAGEMENT.

MS&E AT STANFORD WAS A PERFECT FIT. I LOVE STANFORD AND BEING IN THE SILICON VALLEY IS A BIG BONUS.

BPCL Scholarship FAQ's

2007-07-24T22:59:00.000-07:00

1. How did you prepare? What do they usually ask, acads, cultural, any specific questions on the form, etc?

THE PREPARAITON IS GENERAL SIMILAR TO OTHER INTERVIEWS: ACADS, WHY THE COURSE, WHY UNIV, EXTRA CURRICULARS, WILL YOU COME BACK TO INDIA AFTER YOUR STUDIES, 5 YEAR PLANS ETC..

2. What should I watch out for? Stress Interviews, etc

I DIDN'T HAVE A STRESS INTERVIEW AND DON'T THINK ANYONE ELSE DID.

3. I heard it is random selection sometimes, how do I increase my chances?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT IS RANDOM SELECTION. BUT THEN I COULD BE WRONG, SO CAN'T SAY FOR SURE!
THE ONLY THING TO DO IS GIVE THE INTERVIEW YOUR BEST SHOT! AND SHOW YOUR DEDICATION TO WORKING HARD IN GENERAL.

4. Is this a loan or a scholarship?

ITS A SCHOLARSHIP.

5. Can you connect me to any of your friends who have been selected or been through this process?

I DON'T KNOW OF ANYONE ELSE WHO GOT SELECTED LAST YEAR, BUT YOU CAN JOIN ORKUT GROUP WHICH HAS A LOT OF OTHER SCHOLARS POSTING THEIR EXPERIENCES.

Firstly, kindly tell me what percentage of the tuition fee do they offer as scholarship.

LAST YEAR THEY GAVE SHCOLARSHIPS AMOUNTING TO 4 TO 8 LACKS DEPENDING ON THE LENGHT OF THE COURSE.

Secondly, what kind of interview is expected.. I mean will this be a normal HR interview or will they be asking me questions about my area of study.

THE INTERVIEW WAS BOTH HR, ACADEMIC, ACHIEVEMENTS BASED ETC..ANYTHING CAN BE ASKED..BUT USUALLY THE QUESTIONS ARE ORIENTED TOWARDS WHY THIS COURSE, WHY THE UNIV, EXTRA CURRICULARS ETC.

Around how many people generally attend the interview. I am asking these questions to just get an idea of what I have to face and prepare myself better.

I AM NOT SURE HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY CALLED FOR THE INTERVIEW AS THEY WERE SPREAD OUT OVER A COUPLE OF DAYS. BUT A ROUGH ESTIMATE COULD BE AROUND 80-100 STUDENTS LAST YEAR. I COULD BE WRONG, SO DON'T TAKE THIS AS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

How much amount was the scholarship given to you.

THE AMOUNT VARIES WITH STUDENTS , COURSES AND NUMBER OF YEARS IT TAKES TO COMPLETE THE COURSE. IT CAN BE ANYWHERE FROM 4.00 LACKS TO 8.00 LACK INDIAN RUPEES OVER A PERIOD OF 2 YEARS.

2. How was your interview and what all things were asked. What was the duration of your interview and how many rounds were there?

AFTER I RECIEVED THE RESPONSE FROM THEM INVITING ME TO MUMBAI FOR THE INTERVIEW, THERE WAS ONLY 1 ROUND IN MUMBAI. THE INTERVIEW LASTED FOR 15 MINUTES TO 30 MINUTES FOR VARIOUS STUDENTS. THEY ASKED ME QUESITONS ABOUT THE FORM I HAD FILLED( ACHIEVEMENTS, GOALS, EXTRA CURRICULARS ETC) AS WELL AS WHY I WANTED TO PURSUE THIS PARTICULAR COURSE AND HOW WILL IT HELP INDIA WHEN I COME BACK.

3. Is there any terms and conditions like you need to serve BPCL after your completion or some thing like that.

THERE WERE NO TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR THE SCHOLARSHIP I WAS GIVEN EXCEPT TO PERFORM WELL IN THE COURSE I AM PURSUING HERE.

4. What was the rough intimated date when your scholarship result was announced?

I DON'T REMEMBER EXACTLY BUT I THINK IT WAS TOWARDS THE END OF JULY NOT BEFORE THAT.

5. Lastly, your own suggestions, tips, tricks and advices which you feel necessary to share it with me regarding the scholarship.

BE VERY CLEAR ABOUT WHY YOU WANT TO PURSUE THIS COURSE AND HOW IS THE BPCL SCHOLARSHIP GOING TO HELP YOU IN DOING THAT. TALK A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR LOYALTY TOWARDS INDIA AND HOW YOU WILLL HELP THE COUNTRY WHEN YOU GET BACK.

FINALLY, THE INTERVIEWS WERE VERY VARIED AMONGST DIFFERENT STUDENTS SO THERE IS NO CLEAR ANSWER TO WHAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP YOU TO WIN THE SHCOLARSHIP. HOWEVER, DO YOUR BEST AND I AM SURE YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU DESERVE.

learnings

2007-06-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

I love San Francisco. I have to live there at some point in my life. So much to see and learn. This world is full of wonder. Love and life. Hand in hand. Open both to living and see the magic.
Sometimes one ends up meeting the most wonderful people who one knows are there to change the course of your life. It doesn't happen everyday. It takes a lot to just reach there. But when it feels right, you know it. And no I am not talking about a life partner.

And yes, the world still has some good people out there!

Optmization Exam

2007-06-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

Phew..Its over..I have to write this post. I just realized how I fooled myself through my 4 years of engineering in India. I think this was my first hard core engineering class at Stanford. And I realised that I was not even able to conceptualize simple concepts. I have never done assignments on my own and specially such challenging ones. It is interesting to see how one's thinking evolves as one gets ingrained into the American education system. I hate it when others in my class are able to solve the problems in minutes which take me hours. But I guess it is the price one pays for not doing much thinking during the undergrad days. I sometimes wish I had come to America directly to study after 12th. I love the education system here. It is so real compared to the one in India. How can we change this? Not only are we made to prepare for the "specific questions" which come in exams, but given solutions for everything. If the solution is not available with the teacher, the tutor will have it. It is one big eco system which feeds on each other. The teachers have stopped teaching and the tutors make money. It wans't so bad when I was in school. I barely had tuitions for 1oth and 12th, mostly for Maths, which I infact loved. Somehow I believe now that the reason I loved it was because it was easy to apply what I was told to.Here I have to think of everything!!!Better late than never....

The time to renew the old and new

2007-04-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

I never thought that the same people can feel so distant and close in such a short period of time. I feel like I get to know someone and then they again seem like strangers. I find it hard to make up my mind if I like them. And is that really important. Do I really need to like them to be with them. Can't I live off the feeling of belonging?
Also, some of the situations and people who give the most security suddenly don't seem that secure. Why is that those who you had believed in, in a new system let you down. Or maybe my belief has been faulty. But if I look back, many of my beliefs have been faulty and soon they had to be remade and reinvented. That is change for me. The sting of certain situations never goes away, it only fades and then becomes a memory which comes back if the lesson is not learned.
In this land of strange, who and what can be my own? Who are the people I lean on for support and courage? What if they suddenly disappear? Find new ones? Renew, regenerate, reinvent, rethink..the message of this spring!!

Spring Quarter @ Stan

2007-04-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

I shall just start to tell all of you how beautiful spring is in California and Stanford in particular. If you ever ever get a chance to visit here, u must must :)

Thanksgiving Break

2006-11-18T18:32:00.000-08:00

Wow, 2 months are over and the last month of the quarter is left. I have no idea how quickly time has passed. I have had some really stressful moments and some happy ones when I have felt completely one with nature and myself. This place is full of sour and sweet feelings. I have quite enjoyed all my courses and have done alright in midterms and assignments. I am excited by a lot of new possibilities which might come up.
Its strange that some of the people who I had become very close to since I had come to Stanford aren’t that close to me anymore. I haven’t had the time to nurture those relationships. Infact, I have spent my spare time talking to some of my close friends in the other parts of America , specially since time is so valuable.

I have worked with Chinese, African Americans, Americans, Taiwanese, and Pakistanis and of course Indians. I have learnt the importance of punctuality and professionalism in America. I have understood how important it is for me to finish my work on time. How much I need to respect deadlines.

I am going to be doing a trek through the redwoods this week and also see San Fransisco. On the home front, I am cooking pretty innovative dishes ..Not to brag too much, but I think I have turned out a pretty decent cook!

I have had moments when I have missed home a lot. Its been tough, specially when one doesn’t see too many people around. However, my roommates have been supportive and other friends have also helped me to feel better.

I wish I had the money to go to Las Vegas this break, but I have just enough to pay for my rent and food. I guess I fit into the PIGS (Poor Indian Graduate Student ) Cateogory.

Tonight is a party at Sabita’s house. She has done some crazy amount of cooking and is going to be making these fun cocktails for all of us..Sounds like fun!!

But I really miss the Indian style of partying, specially the Punjabi Pop music and chicken tikka!

Home is not too far away…Dec 19th , here I come…

Stanford, Duke, Dartmouth........

2006-04-01T02:52:00.000-08:00

Getting through Stanford is my dream come true. I have always wanted to study in a top american university as long as I can remember. When I had started the whole application process, I kept Stanford as my dream university. I wasn't sure if I would get in. So whenver I would find myself having California dreams, I would tell myself..wait...wait......didn't want to feel terrible incase I didn't make it. At the same time I had a feeling that I would.
Decision making has always been a tough one for me. I love Duke and Dartmouth. Duke ensures closeness to friends. Dartmouth is giving me 50% scholarship. Stanford offers neither of the above two. But the biggest brand name ever and the opportunity to work under the best faculty in the whole wide world. So here I go sacrifysing security of having close friends around and money for name and fame!!!!
Just kidding!!I love stanford and it is a league above every other university for me...
So california...here I come.......
Oh..and I am at work and my boss is sitting right behind me....I don't know if he can see me not working or maybe he knows how hard I work and prefers me taking breaks!!He did say today that" Tanu, the only way we are going to let you leave this company is if you find a replacement just like yourself!!!"
Ok, now people reading this are going to think I am in love with myself...Well, yes I am..How can you love someone else till you don't love yourself!!
Enjoy....

2005-11-06T15:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been 2 months since i wrote on my blog...just shows how busy I have been...and since i got a popular demand for updating it, i thought i might as well do the honours...do i give too much gyaan in this space? mebbe i give gyaan all the time...preaching mode of operation...this time around when i met my friends in pune, I was told that I should open a consultancy where i pay people to hear me talk...jesus...i can't be talking all that much....
Today was my last Mock CAT with career launcher..now I just want CAT to get over..plus this whole application process..It's been fun in it's own way....made a couple of new friends and got closer to an old one.....so not bad......
I have no idea what else to talk about....just wanna go and sleep right now for an hour....
But atleast I wrote something....

I had to write more...

2005-09-02T21:03:00.000-07:00

I have been down with juandice and all this time moping around in bed has made me do a lot of thinking..and man!! as usual i come up with some good fundas..i dunno if they apply to the world, but me yeah..they sure do...
the last week's been tough coz it hadn't actually sunk in that I was down with jaundice and I thought that it's gonna be like some viral fever, which as soon as it is gone I can be up and moving..but dammit, when i tried to be up and moving I fell again..so this thing is gonna persist for a bit longer..
ok..now coming back to what i was saying..my realisations:
1) home rocks!! specially when one falls ill!!
2) men suck!! though not all..but yeah most of them..
3) falling ill is a good time to figure out who are the people who really care for you.
4) the world is not gonna stop running, just coz i ain't not participating right now.
5) there is no right or wrong decision..decisions seem right at the right time.
6) life may not work out the way I envision it, but it does work out.
7) negative emotions are just passing and not reality. don't act on them!!
8) 'woh lamhe' from 'zehar' still rocks, even though aashique banaaya is hot!
9) never try to get in touch with old flames..the flame is out..accept it!!( a friend whose ex is getting married made me realise this one) men move on faster than woman..

Thats all...I know people who read this are gonna that bile has gone to my brains..mebbe it has..who cares!!!the greatest philosophers were all luny...

Watta book!!

2005-09-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

I's been long since I read something so good. The one which I read before this was the latest harry potter...and what can one say about that..harry potter is harry potter...i carried it with me wherever i went ..to the loo, to my class, in front of the television..but 'The Kite Runner' is different..It kind of immobilizes you..so you don't need to carry it around.
I have read books talking about the muslim culture before , 'the princess' , 'not without my daughter' and many more. But this book touched me in more than one way. The way Khalid Hoessinni has described each and every situation made me feel like I was there..I could smell the meat being cooked and hear the wind through the kites. I could feel Amir's pain and love. I could understand what Hassan was all about, why he still cared for Amir, despite Amir's betrayal.
How living in this world and society, one has to be what the world wants us to be. But at the same time, the past will continue to haunt us till we don't reconcile it.And lastly, one has to pay the price of what one didn't do or do..Always!!!

whatever!!

2005-08-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

so much of confusion..so many things to do...and this stupid phone doesn't stop ringing..everyone wants to talk abt the CAT...i think it's damn overrated...one stupid 2 hr exam..and it decides the fate of some 1 lkh and 50 thousand students...
oscar wilde said" the only thing one should do with other people's advice is pass it on to others"
i like tht!!..
geetika is finally in boston..and i am sure she has never read my blog...but i still need to mention her..she is my best friend..mad woman...
and i had another best friend..or thats what i thought he was...i think i assumed too much..people just have there own lives..and out of site, out of mind..works for them...
i like some of the new friends i have made..it takes time to know people..i thought i would never move on from college..but i think i have..finally...
TaTa
ciao

I'm Back....

2005-07-16T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have no diea after how long i am writing..but yeah must be a long long time...coz life has changed completely ...quit my job and sitting at home..well not exactly..trying to sit at home...quitting that job was the biggest relief...cudn't believe that i endured it for 8 long months..but the worst part has been answering the world...man,,,trust me u have no idea what a bitch the world can be...but who the hell cares...coz I am happy...happier than what i was ever in that job...there is just so much to do and so much to look forward to...and i had the best vacations ever the last 2 months..with like different groups of people, doing different things and totally discovering oneself..thats what travelling does to me..i just get to know myself better once i am on the road..pune did ths to me..it made me a nomad..even now everyday i feel like taking off for someplace..even if its for a few days..
the most beautiful place which i went to was McLeodganj, in Dharamsala, in Himachal Pradesh...the place where Dalai lama is in excile...that place is pure magic...u have to go there to believe how it makes u feel...its not a typical hill station..and proof enough is the fact that it is full of foreigners..pe0ple from all over the world who came there for a holiday and just cudn't leave...I went there thrice this season...and the last time even managed to go for a trek up the himalayas...
Now that I am back in Delhi and studying for this stupid CAT exam and also trying to figure out my next job...i just wanna run back up there...but then i did miss delhi and city life and all the partying here...so i am not complaining...
the biggest thing which i am trying to figure out nowdays is " whats gonna happen in my life next??" and you know what the answer is " u don't have to know kiddo!!!"

"Being Twenty-Something"

2005-02-17T15:20:00.000-08:00

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with
the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder
where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely
know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most
important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that
too, and they aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as
confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you
would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find
yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your
list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and
then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your
life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy
and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that
the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do
but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such
damage to you.
Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent
enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with
your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just
like to be a contender!
â€œWhat you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to itâ€
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can
to figure this whole thing out.
Think abt itâ€¦maybe it will help u out to come out of confusion and
feel like you aren't alone in this state of confusion.....
GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!!

Happy New Year!!! 2004- Part 1

2005-01-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

what a beautiful year 2004 was..one of my best..thats a heavy statement for sure..but seriously now that I think of it ,,the year was good and changed me tremendously as a person.Also a big transition from campus life to the corporate world..
Jan 2004- landed up in college 20 days after the semester had started and got the biggest firing from my head of department..but just couldn't bear to miss ridhima's wedding in Delhi..and to top it all as soon as i landed in Pune, everyone was leaving for IIT-Powai for the technical festival..i just had to go..had a grt time there..
Feb 2004- MIT annual day preparations began and as usual I wanted to be in a lot of events..so I was running between dance practice for our B.E show and the fashion show..trying to catch up on my attendance during the day and practising the whole night..man i was really pooped out at the end of it..but the amount of fun I had was really worth all the effort..Also went on a trip down to the konkan coast with whole big bunch of friends..ate so much of fish, swam in the sea and generally did lots of masti..
March 2004- this month was kind of tough..had to finish my final year project and then this project exhibition was coming up for which we had to display it..was really pressurised and my project partners added to it..but still by this time I had started going out every other night as I knew tht the my time in Pune was coming to an end..So it was like" work work work and then party party party"..and trust me this kind of lifestyle is damn addictive..

Ok more in the next part...too much to recollect in one go..

Merry Christmas!!!

2004-12-23T10:29:00.000-08:00

My best season is here..I just love it!! From the christmas trees to santa claus to gifts and bells and mistletoes!!!The cold crisp weather and the promise of lots of parties..I already did a good deed for the day and will make an effort to do more for the whole week..Definitely the christmas spirit catching up!!
I guess this blog is long overdue...but seriously didn't have anything to write about and then I get comments like" how boring , Tina" and " you can do better"..which made me a little concious..but then I am wondering tht this is not about wht people think and like..this space is abt me and my life and feelings ..and if I want I can write crap and more crap...
I have been feelign a little confused abt some stuff lately..its the conflict of living at home or away..as I have had a chance to experience both and the more I stay at home the more I want to stay and the more I don't...but then no situation is always black n white and I guess this is one of those..
and for all you annonymous commentators I really didn't make coffee for many and I am sure it's JD, Panku and daani gang...so please be kind enough to put ur names up there..kind of makes the whole thing more interesting..and I make good coffee..and if u reveal ur name I will defintely call u( see I am putting forth a good propsal..a call from me n all)
ok..enough of timepass..back to work..

Jerry Springer - Tina's Story

2004-12-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]

Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Tina is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Geetika. So everyone, please put your hands together for Tina![The crowd whoops and hollers]

Jerry: Okay, now Tina you're here to talk about someone aren't you?

You: Yes.Jerry: And what is this other person's name?

You: Shailendra.[The crowd squeals with delight]

Jerry: Okay, okay, well Shailendra, is actually here tonight .[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Tina, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Jaidev!

You: What the HELL!!!

[Out of nowhere you pull out a guns. Jaidev reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows Rahul appears]

Rahul: Wait everybody, wait!

Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Jaidev.

Jaidev: Because I saw Tina and Rahul making out at benetton!

[The crowd goes absolutely insane]Rahul: That's a lie! I was home watching Friends!

Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Jaidev?

Jaidev: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Geetika who has recently become engaged to Rahul.[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]

Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Geetika out here because Tina had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Shailendra that's right!

Geetika: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Shailendra! You know how I feel about Shailendra!

Rahul: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Shailendra!

Geetika: Because I knew that I could never have Shailendra. But Tina promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!

Rahul: What about respect for my feelings![Jaidev walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Geetika]

Jaidev: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.[Again the crowd squeals]

Rahul: Oh my God! Are you sick!?

[Rahul runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]

Rahul: Tina take me away from all of this!

You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married .[The crowd does its bit]

Rahul: Married?[You nod]

Rahul: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!

You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Shailendra.

Geetika: [screaming] WHAT!!!

Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?

Shailendra: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 9 times if that's what you mean.[The crowd squeals]

Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Tina is married to Shailendra who Geetika has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Geetika has recently become engaged to Rahul who was recently spotted kissing Tina in benetton. Now on top of this, Jaidev has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Geetika.Shailendra: That's right Jerry.

Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.

[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]

Sleepyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2004-12-09T20:52:00.000-08:00

2 glasses of water, 2 cups of cappuchino and a visit to all my friends on different floors of IBM (not using the lift) has still not woken me up..well the saving grace"thank god it's friday"..man now i know the sanctity of fridays!!This whole week has taken its toll, and mind u its not work, but the damn weddings..i think i met everyone i have ever known in my life in delhi..i am not complaning..i liked it..but i have to finish some work and this manager of mine seems to think that he has to keep track of me all the time..so no time for timepass..This is the problem being a girl amongst guys...everyone seems to know wht one is upto..
dying to go the mountains for a break..also have some leaves which i have to use before year end..so plan tina plan!!

stuff!!!

2004-12-09T13:13:00.000-08:00

LIFE IS QUEER WITH ITS TWISTS AND TURNS

AS EVERYONE OF US, SOMETIMES LEARNS.

AND MANY A FELLOW TURNS ABOUT

WHEN HE MIGHT HAVE WON HAD HE STUCK IT OUT.

DON’T GIVE UP THOUGH THE PACE SEEMS SLOW

YOU MAY SUCCEED WITH ANOTHER BLOW.

OFTEN THE GOAL IS NEARER,

THAN IT SEEMS TO A FAINT AND FALTERING MAN.

OFTEN THE STRUGGLER HAS GIVEN UP,

WHEN HE MIGHT HAVE CAPTURED THE VICTOR’S CUP.

AND HE LEARNED TOO LATE WHEN THE NIGHT CAME DOWN

HOW CLOSE HE WAS TO THE GOLDEN CROWN.

just liked it..sorry dhruv for using it on my blog..but it is really nice..

hhhmmmm

2004-12-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

had a good weekend..partied in delhi for a change..and this city surely rocks..went to Odyssey first and then Athenas..had a blast...this was saturday night..yesterday night was fun too.. a family friends sangeet function..met so many old friends..awesome food and music...
I guess now its time for me to get serious about my work..atleast move towards improving my skill set..Shivani is going to bangalore for 2 weeks...peace at last!!!
Well got lots of weddings to attend this week, with natasha's wedding and a cousin's primarily..from not attending any weddings since the last 4 years , this is definitely a surplus..but i am glad, as i love the food( and Akshay if u r reading this, trust me ure missing some good stuff...canada or no canada)..

and life goes on...

2004-12-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

woke up today to a night full of dreams..dreams of the past..of people and places..got me thinking..was sitting in my balcony with my tea and newsapaper and wondering why everyhting comes to an end..and why did it end???before i could think further, shivani barged in and said u have 15 mins in the loo, so get ur ass moving..ofcourse I took longer and finished all the hot water..still feeling pensive and already a little depressed i put on the radio...and this is the way god speaks to me..the song blaring was" alla ke bande has de, jo bhi ho kal phir aayega" and there I was back to the present..
Letting go of the past is real tough for me, but then i know that I have a choice of making my present beautiful so I can always have a good past..
OK enough, lemme get down to doing some work around here..

Monday morning..

2004-11-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

The server is down again here...I don't know why these guys don't do something about it. No tool can be operated without it.It's like load shedding which the government does..Even IBM should do this and inform everyone that from so and so time , there is gonna be no connection, so plan your activities accordingly..
The weekend was very refreshing and ofcourse with the amount of shopping I did I am gonna feel good about it for the entire week.I bought this very cute bell for dollar, one of those tibetian kinds, and tied it around his collar..He is so confused as he just can't figure out where the tinkling sound is coming from when he moves..keeps on looking at me with his innocent deep lovely eyes..
wanted to go see mughle-azam desperately this weekend..went twice but got no tickets..can't beleive so many youngsters are dying to see this one..went to this aweosme cafe on saturday called ' turtle cafe'..it is in a bookshop and is one of those cozy places where u can spend ur enite day doing nothing much in particular..but is like overly priced..the gooey chocolate cake was awesome and one of the best I have ever had and the crowd is also worth checkin..so this place is definitely on the list for all you people, when u visit delhi..

2004-11-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Ever had one of those days when you just carry on...but don't feel like..I didn't have to go to work today but ended up having an extremely busy day..Destiny is like the wierdest thing that can happen to you.. I met someone today for the second time...It was somebody I didn't really want to meet ever again in my life..but god forced it upon me and here I am sitting and getting mehandi put at my friends wedding and this person comes along and sits right next to me..It actually struct me later that everything that happens and is happening is there for a reason...and I have no control over the inevitable..
Looking at all the money that is being spend by people in Delhi for the 15,000 odd weddings taking place here this week, I really wish it was put to more resourful uses..The amount of food going waste is not even funny..people say that your own wedding is once in a lifetime event..so why relent..I wonder what I am going to do on mine..
oh and one of my friends thinks that this blog is very boring...so if u think so too please tell me and also then give ur suggestions..

Bruno

2004-11-23T17:16:00.000-08:00

Have been missing my dog Bruno a lot lately. He passed away recently. Having a dog is like the best thing that can happen to you. the unconditional everlasting love.oh man....i live for it.
He lived for 12 years. and mostly people would say that had lived his life. but Bruno wasn't like that. He has the zest to carry on for another 3 or 4 years. When he fell ill that day, I thought he had a bad cold and would be fine by evening. but he didn't get alrite and during his last few moments on this planet i knew he wasn't gonna live. he had this faraway look in his eyes, like he was connecting with the outer world and wasn't even responding to my calls.
well...I do believe in life after death and I know he is fine..
This whole detachment bit gets to me..How can one be detached from your loved ones. and if their is so much love then why do we have to say goodbye??

Trip to Calcutta

2004-11-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

hey...
Just got back from calcutta last night. Had gone their for Sumedha's engagement. Sum( Thats what we call her) is one of my closest school freinds. Lemme tell you about my gang from school. I went to an all girls convent school and our group consisted of five of us.Geetika( who is also my best friend studying at michigan right now), Nisha( who went to MIT, Boston and is now working in New York), Ridhima( who got married to Hans this january), Sumedha and of course the great old me!!
We five have lived our school times with each other and are still pretty much close.
So Sum has decided to marry Abhi( who she met at LSE).
Man, the minute our flight landed at the Calcutta airport( which looks like the bombay central railway station) I just kept on thanking god that my posting was shifted from IBM Cal to bangalore and finally Delhi. If I had to work in that city I would have surely left this job.
We were traveling with Sumedha's family and all the chacha's, mausi's , nani , dadi etc...Most of them are Punjabi's and very jovial and fun loving.So it was a like this big hungama party!!
Abhi is like a millionaire and so we got 7 star treatment throughout. W e were put up at the Hyatt( I loved my bathroom which was bigger than my room)..
Neways I wonder who says that bengal is famour for it's famines, coz all we did was eat, eat and eat. And the most awesome food.I had decided to wear a red sari on the night of the engagement( and I am not all that great at carrying one)..So it took Ridhima like 2 hrs to make me wear it , only to the effect of it opening up in the middle of the function!!!and then we rushed like mad to the rest room along with the auntie who was standing closest to us..
There were no cute guys around..only the marwari men...with their big bellies and paan stained teeth and probably loads of money..but no thank you...
After the function we decided to go clubbing and went to 'tantra'. I actually liked that place ( reminded me of some of the clubs in Pune).Had my regular breezer and a dose of the calcutta cool crowd..
Back home now..Its a lazy day..it's a holiday ..I love this season in Delhi..Its not too hot nor too chilly..The air has a slight nip and the afternoon sun just wants to make you curl up in bed with a book..
Made lots of new friends during this trip and also revived some old connections!!

First One!!

2004-11-16T04:00:00.001-08:00

Hey,
this is my first entry in my own blog...Welcome to all of you who have taken the pains to visit it!!
Life's cool.Doing loads of timepass in IBM Gurgaon.
hhhmmmm..will write more soon as its time for me to leave this office for the day..
Siya